I have struggled with what to name this article, it is the follow up to "Living Life Six Months at a Time" which is the follow up to the "Three months at a Time" article, but a not so funny thing happened on my way to the forum and it brings with it some viable options for names. "Ain't That A Kick In the Head?" was the one I was leaning towards. By the way, has there ever been anyone smoother then Dean Martin? Maybe Frank.
So my previous visit to the University of Wisconsin last May went so smooth I was humming "How lucky can one guy be" as I left the hospital. There was no change in my status and in the world of lung cancer, sometimes no change is the best news you can have. For the next six months I set about my business of living life in Florida. I wrote a little, tinkered around the house, planted some grapes. Enjoying life and being alive. Before we knew it six months had passed and it was November, time to hop a flight to Chicago and then the three hour drive to the UW. I felt quite confident about this visit. ("I've sun-shine enough to spread; Its like the fella said, "Tell me quick,ain't love like a kick in the head?") So we entered the Hospital and made our way to the cancer center nestled in the corner of the second floor, to have blood drawn prior to my CT scan on the third floor and then back down to meet with my Doctor.
The I.V. went in on the first attempt(How lucky can one guy be?) It's going to be a good day. CT scan, smooth as a martini.
The meetings with my oncologist usually are a little more tense then they should be, the fault being my own for getting worked up waiting for results. This time I was a calmer then usual, everything had been going well, I felt the same as I have for the past few years after my diagnosis. Lindsy and I awaited his arrival to our examining room, truth be told, it has always been my wife that has kept me grounded and kept me from bouncing of the walls and straight over the edge in these situations.
The Doctor arrived, we had our normal getting caught up conversation and then down to business. The blood tests were good so not a lot to talk about there. Then the review of the CT, this is where the rubber meets the road, where I get to exhale in relief at those words I long to hear "no change." I started thinking about getting back to Florida to tend to the yard, and some other projects I wished to follow up on including the GFLCCO irons I had in the fire. All these thoughts interrupted by his voice saying, "There's been a change to your condition." So I'm going to put up more lattice...... "What?"... "Wait a second what did he just say?"
There is a great scene in the movie "Jaws" where Chief Martin Brody and his wife are sitting on the beach and people are talking to him but he's off in his own little world until he notices the disturbance in the water. Steven Spielberg then does this amazing camera shot that is the equivalent of pulling the stunned chief into reality right in front of our eyes. This is the way I felt. Like someone slapped me upside the head and screamed, "Are you catching this my friend? There is a two ton shark in the room with you, wake up!"
Ok, not what I expected, "As the fella' once said, Ain't that a kick in the head?"
The good doctor then informed me that the growth that had been lying dormant for the past few years has now doubled in size since my previous scan in May and although there could be a couple of explanations for this, we had better have a biopsy done as soon as possible. Here's the rub, we had booked our return flight to Florida and were flying out before time for a biopsy along with a follow up visit would allow. Cancel the flight or have the test done in Florida? I probably should have stayed and had it done, but I wanted to go home, so we did.
The Folks at the UW made the arrangements for me to have the test done the following week in Florida and Lindsy and I boarded the plane and headed back across the Mason/Dixon line to home.
This is where the "This could only happen to me" factor comes into play.
We show up for the initial meeting with the pulmonary doctor in Florida who will be performing the biopsy but couldn't figure out which building his office was in so we called and were told that our appointment was cancelled because although the pulmonary DR. accepted our insurance, the oncologist that he worked with and 'might' want to consult with did not and therefore Mr. pulmonary Dr. could not, would not, do the procedure. ("As the Sailor said Quote, Ain't that a hole in the boat.")
Mid November has now turned into December. Let me assure you that time becomes very noticeable when you begin to question how much you might or might not have left.
I met with a local Pulmonary guy and he arranged for me to have a PET scan which is basically where they shoot you full of radiation and then run you through a scanner to see what glows. (Glowing = Bad) I had a few small glowing spots but nothing that would explain the 4cm and growing mass that had retaken residency in the right side of my chest.
As December was trying hard to slip into January, I am finally having the biopsy that should get me off of this roller coaster I've been on for the past two months. The date Is Jan. 30th. Happy New Year.
Sorry, no results from the biopsy, the mass is located outside of the lung and out of reach for the equipment we have, you sir, must see a Thoracic surgeon who will be able to do the biopsy. " What will he do?" I asked. "Well usually, they put you under, and open you up and go in for the tissue sample." he said. "Where?" I asked. "The hospital." he said as he looked at me like I had lost my mind. "No, No." I replied. "Where do they go in from, my chest?" "No, I believe he will make an incision in your throat and go from there." he said in a very matter of fact way. "How lucky can one Guy Be?"
Let me get this straight, I go in and pay money to have some guy slit my throat? "Go meet with the Guy" the Doctor says.
So I meet with the Thoracic Surgeon who reviewed my various scans and test results and sat me down and told me that it looked like cancer and that he did not think that opening me up would be the best thing at this time, There is a biopsy procedure that is the same as the one I had but would be able to penetrate the lung wall and retrieve a sample, unfortunately they did not have that capability here. He could however request the procedure at Shands Hospital in Gainesville, home of the U of F. It's a four hour drive to Gainesville, but at this point, what are ya gonna do?
My meeting at Shands hospital was scheduled for January 27th to meet with the Doctor who would perform the next procedure that would defiantly, probably, maybe tell me if I was heading for treatment again.
On the 23rd, I noticed a tooth ache, no big deal. On the night of 24th,(The room was completely black, I hugged her and she hugged back.) The tooth ache exploded into a full infection and the left side of my face swelled up like someone had placed a beach ball into it. The pain has unexplainable. Lynn spent considerable time on the phone the next morning trying to find a dentist that would take me but like everything else over the past few months, it wasn't easy. Finally we found a dentist with a dental surgeon on duty that took my insurance and could see me today.
I could write a complete separate article on this dental experience as well as the raging fever and hallucinating that began as I was driving home from the dentist and continued into the four hour drive to Gainesville two days later, but it's just a sidebar for now. A tale for another time.
We met with the Doctor, showed him the scans and the various test results and notes from the previous pair of Doctors and the U of W information and he agreed to get it done the following Monday.
On the 31st of January, Lindsy and I once again made the trip to Gainesville, where I had the newest procedure that would defiantly, possibly, maybe, provide the answer I had been searching for.
"We should have results on Wednesday." turned into a late evening call the following Monday February 7th.
Being known at times to be expressive with my emotions, let me assure you that the delay in results had me sitting somewhere in between panic and complete out of control rage. I was trying hard to keep it bottled, thank God no one cut me off at the drive through at McDonalds that week, or wanted to pick a fight At the grocery store over the last head of lettuce.
I took the call Monday evening and excused myself from the room. Any anger I might had felt left quickly as he began to speak. The Doctor explained to me that the growth was not a spread of cancer but more of a tissue and cell break down from radiation treatments that I had received and although I have high risk potential, I was off the hook for now. I would need another scan in a month just to monitor the activity, like placing sensors around a rumbling volcano. I thanked him, hung up the phone, and sat in disbelief. It was finally over, for now.
Lindsy joined me on the steps where I had retreated to to take the call and we shared in one of those moments that you really can't explain.
The next morning, after three months, life began moving forward again.
"My head is spinning I go To sleep and keep grinning,
If this is just the beginning, My life is going to be Beautiful"
I once wrote about fearing the moment when the phrase "No change," would be replaced by "We have a problem," Let me assure you the process is the same as the initial diagnoses. Shock, denial, sorrow, acceptance all leading to the overwhelming urge to live and do whatever it takes to live. Everyone is different, I kept the events of the past three months somewhat quiet until we finally found out what was going on. Moving forward again feels good.
Life is a gift, no matter how hard or strange it is at times. This was my reminder of that fact. Six months at a time, good enough for me. "How Lucky Can ONE Guy BE?"
Tim Giardina is the co-founder and President of the GFLCCO as well as a current small cell lung cancer survivor. The GFLCCO is developing a World Wide network of supporters with facts and information regarding lung cancer, lung cancer treatment, proper diets and exercise and alternative medicines and treatments as well as valuable links to a deep pool of resourses for patients and their families.
The primary function of the GFLCCO is to support Scientists by funding research for a cure. If you would like to learn more about the GFLCCO, need information or support or would be interested in reading more of Tim's work, please visit us at http://www.gflcco.com
We are a non profit organization that also relies on the support of others to carry on with our work, if you find our site useful, your support would be greatly appreciated.
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